Perfection

The most common advertisement I see on my web blog is "Eating Disorder Hope"  Are my blogs geared that direction?  Well, it will be now that I just wrote that, not intentionally.  Nutrition, Depression, Raw Foods=Eating Disorder Hope, could possibly be true.   Let's throw a twist and talk about Perfection, or is it a twist?  One particular story comes to mind talking about perfection, and I have many!  I have five boys and when they were all at home we would be getting ready to head to my parents house for a holiday.  In my fury to get ready and be on time, as I have a problem about being on time (no I didn't say that backwards) I have a need to be early.  I created unnecessary chaos in order to accomplish my goal.  At that very moment, fingernails, hair, clothes, shoes, eyebrows, attitudes, and life's purpose had to be in order in approximately 1 hour.  Since, I had the brainy idea to give my children a voice at an early age by taking great consideration of their feelings and opinions, they have big voices when I decide they need to be quite.   Remember life is a process.  I learned as I went and I didn't do the right thing all the time!  The hardest part for me was I wanted perfection at the moment and not necessarily at other times.  This confused my children.  In the end the boys were yelling at me telling me I had issues with my family and then I was hurt, ultimately crying.  How does perfection relate to my story?  Perfection as my definition would be our appearance as whole family.  What we looked like, how we talked, our interests, basically socially acceptable concerns.  This would place excellence, maturity and merit on my family.  While raising my family this was an enormous challenge for me.  Starting with the first divorce dealing with guilt and the feeling of incompleteness.  Evolving from letting go of damage I felt I caused to realization of balancing it all out again was a method of letting go of perfection.  Fulfilling my life by letting go of old patterns learned which meant standing alone and not "looking" so good for awhile.  This might of entailed a messy house because I was spending time holding a crying child for several hours, carrying extra pounds for failing to find the time to exercise or eating properly, showing up late, or having less money than the average person.  Awareness has brought a quality of life where perfection does not exist.  The pendulum is swinging but my scale is mainstream.  I do care about taking care of my family in a healthy, socially acceptable way.  I also leave room for my children to make their own choices as my opinion is not always the best one which brings me to my favorite quote from Albert Einstein:
Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.  Kudos, to all my friends!


smiles,

ac